To The End
by To Be A Necessity
Summary: Something had happened that summer that made Clare a different person. Her secret made her someone who no one understood. Well... almost no one. EClare.
1. Welcome to Hell

To The End

_He calls the mansion not a house, but a tomb._

_He's always choking from the stench and the fume._

Eli looked up at Degrassi High School with a wary expression; this was the last place that he wanted to be. Nothing would make his emotions change after Julia, and he knew that no one would understand him here. Hell, no one even understood him at his _old_ school—they all knew what had happened to Julia, but no one dared to talk to him about it.

He was known as being the "bully" for a few months after Julia's death, which is the reason why he was expelled. Now this was his last resort before being sent into home schooling, which would obviously fail him.

Most of the students looked at him in a surprised manner, seeing that the only color he wore was black. No one at Degrassi even dared to wear black—the school was too "cheery".

But all of that was going to change. Eli wasn't one to "fit in" in his lifetime. He hated the newest trends, and loved the fifties and sixties. Hence, the '59 Cadillac Hearse he nicely displayed in the parking lot.

Not caring where he was going, he bumped into someone as the bell rung. Eli immediately expected a sarcastic remark to come out of his smart-ass mind, but when he saw the girl he couldn't think. Before him stood a short, auburn curled girl who looked slightly disturbed. And she hadn't even looked at him yet.

"Sorry." Eli stated, kneeling down to pick up the loose papers that had fallen from her hands. As he looked up to give them to her, she was merely gone. He was looking before no one, and couldn't see the girl in sight.

It annoyed him—he was doing a good deed for once, and before he knows it she disappears before he can feel relieved for bumping into her.

Knowing that he probably is looking like an idiot, he stands, shoving the papers into his coat pocket before taking out his schedule. He walked idly to his next class, a haze set unto him.

He walked in late, but it didn't really matter since he was confused as hell. Whatever the teacher was saying didn't transfer to Eli's brain—he blinked several times.

"Sorry," he dully said, looking for the only open seat. Unfortunately, there were two. "Where's my seat?" He asked, and the teacher looked annoyed at him as she pointed with a stern finger to the correct seat.

A boy across from him gave him a welcoming smile, but Eli thought he seemed to girly to become his friend—he only hung out with bad kids.

As the teacher was about to start, the door opens and closes once again and the teacher's distressed face turns into sympathy.

"Clare, you're late." She softly said, leaning on the podium. Eli looked over to see who Clare was, and was stunned to see that it was the girl that he had bumped into in the halls. Clare gave him a glare before looking up at the teacher.

"Sorry, Mrs. Dawes." She coldly said, sitting down in her seat. Eli looked over at Clare who was sitting next to him, seeing that she was sitting as far as possible from him. Eli frowned.

"Clare," Mrs. Dawes said, going up to the two. Eli swallowed. "This is your new partner. Eli, this is Clare—our best student in the class." Eli looked over to Clare, hoping that she would give him a welcoming smile, but instead she nodded, looking away.

"Nice to meet you," Eli grumbled under his breath, hoping that Clare wouldn't hear.

But of course Clare heard. "Whatever." She replied, taking out her binder. Whenever she moved, the smell of her perfume would draft towards Eli, who acceptingly took it in. He had never smelled such a sweet and soft smell before, one that smelled of delicacy. Eli looked at her, watching her unpack.

Clare scoffed. "Want a picture? It'll last longer." Eli smirked for once, seeing that he wasn't the only one that had dry sarcasm.

Eli shrugged. "Sure," he stated, earning a raised eyebrow. "Bring it in tomorrow."

Clare laughed. "Nah—you're not one worthy of it."

Eli's eyes widened in amusement. "Witty, aren't we?"

"You wish," Clare muttered, and Eli laughed.

Mrs. Dawes looked right at Eli as he laughed, making the whole room silent. "Something you'd like to share?" She asked after a moment of silence.

Eli looked over at Clare before shaking his head. "No, Mrs. Dawes—just asking a question." He expected Clare to smile, anything, but a frown seemed to be permanently attached to her face.

After class, Eli remembered that he still had some of Clare's papers in his coat pocket.

"Clare," He said, and Clare annoyingly looked at him. "I have some papers from before—you dropped them."

He put them in front of Clare, thinking that she would take them. But instead, she didn't. She stared in fear at the papers before running out of the room.

Eli, confused as he was, wasn't sure whether or not to keep the papers or to leave them there. But maybe later on she'd want them. Putting them back into his pocket, he left with a smirk.

Something was in these papers that scared Clare, which were in the hands of Elijah Goldsworthy.

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**I hope everyone had a good Christmas this year; I surely know that I did.**

**And I'm thinking that with 5 reviews, we'll have the next chapter up ;)**

**Preview of chapter two:**

**But today, she was going to show him the true Clare Edwards. The one that not many people had seen in a long time.**

**^^Who is the _real_ Clare Edwards?**


	2. Cutest Couple

_The wedding party all collapsed in the room._

_So send my resignation to the bride and the groom._

Though much hadn't happened, it was enough for Clare to have anxiety attacks as she ran to her house. She could only hope that Eli had decided to destroy the papers once he saw that she didn't want them.

She swallowed hardly; what if he _read_ them? Clare would have to change schools, change her name, and get a new family.

Her fate was in the hands of the new kid. It wasn't like Clare would have cared, but now she wasn't able to keep herself from falling. She had to find the papers before Eli could read them.

She sneaked through the house and to her room, silently closing her bedroom door. A breath of relief came out of her while she walked to her bed, turning on the TV while getting comfy.

The door opened to a startled guardian. Clare looked at her in boredom.

"Heard of knocking?" She stated, not caring what Stacy thought of her.

Stacy let out a shaky sigh. "Where were you?" She almost pleaded, and Clare gave her a knowing glance.

"School."

"What?" Stacy asked, walking into the room. Clare inched away from her step mother. "Honey, why would you go to school?"

Stacy brought out a hand to touch Clare's cheek, but she fled from Stacy's grasp a few seconds before. Clare could see that her step mother was about to cry, and that she would be in trouble later. But she didn't care—she was the bad child of the family.

"Because I _like_ school." Clare growled. "And don't 'honey' me; you're not even my mom."

Stacy's eyes widened in false understanding. "I want to try and bond with you. I'm trying here, but I need your half to make it work." Stacy applied a light smile to her face. "Your father would really like it if we became closer."

Clare laughed loudly, making her statement clear. "Listen to me, Stacy, and listen good." She harshly said to the light brown eyes in front of her. "We will _never_ bond. Ever. Stop wasting your time. I don't want you."

Stacy shook her head, getting up from the side of her bed. "If you want it that way," Stacy murmured sadly, trying to make Clare feel guilty. "Then I'll leave."

Clare nodded in agreement, her attention to the TV. "Better move your toosh now before I kick it out."

Stacy brought back a cry before closing Clare's door.

_To The End_

The next day, Clare walked down the staircase to see in front of her Randall and Stacy—obviously she was going to be sternly told to be nice to her step mother.

Of course, they did this almost every day—it was almost a part of the family's routine.

"Clare," Randall started, Stacy clinging protectively onto his arm. Clare glared at Stacy, who hid farther behind her father. "What you said to your mom is unacceptable. Some things need to change, and this is one of them—you need to accept it."

"She'll never be my mom." Clare stated. "No slut you bring home will ever replace my mother, and you know that. I know that you just married her for money, since we're poor, and you want me to become humane again. Well, maybe if you delete her kids then it'll work better." Clare let a sly grin come up to her mouth, feeling proud that she was able to tell her guardians off so easily now.

"You're going to be punished." Randall stated, and Clare crossed her arms.

"Till the fifth of next year—I know already. I can count." She muttered under her breath.

Stacy let out an obnoxious breath. "Do you hear how disrespectful your child is of me? She even called me a slut! She obviously needs help."

Clare cracked her knuckles, glaring at Stacy before her father spoke. "She does not need help." He sternly stated to his wife. Stacy looked taken aback.

"Since when do you side with her? I'm your _wife_, sweetie! Why don't we just resolve this _upstairs_?" She softly said, kissing his neck. Clare gagged to herself.

"I'm glad _I'm_ not a slut. Maybe I can teach your kids later! But for now," She said, bumping shoulders forcefully with Stacy. "I have to get to school."

Clare grinned as she closed the door. It was fun tormenting her step mother.

_To The End_

As Clare got to the front of Degrassi, she felt very confident in herself. She finally was coming around to what Eli had said to her yesterday, and she knew that she had made a bad impression.

But today, she was going to show him the true Clare Edwards. The one that not many people had seen in a long time.

A smile plastered to her face in a silly way, she walked the halls looking for her English partner. She noticed his dark hair from the back, her heart beating slightly faster than before.

She had never had a crush—she thought it wasn't possible for her to be loved. But once she bumped into Eli, she knew he was different. Misery was placed upon him, and she liked that about him. They both could save each other.

She opened her mouth to say something when she saw Jenna before her, hugging him tightly. Eli laughed, not noticing that Clare was watching from the side.

Clare brought her bag further onto her shoulder; speed walking away from the two.

Adam bumped into her, but she didn't bother to say anything. She just brought up the book that she had made him drop, keeping her gaze on the floor.

Adam noticed Eli and Jenna before them, grinning like an idiot. "Cutest couple, hmm? I have my bets."

Clare looked over at Eli, a pained expression before her. "Give them my resignation. I've got to go."

Before Adam had a chance to reply, Clare was already gone. He looked back to see that Eli was disgusted with the blonde haired cheerleader in front of him. Realization came to him as he noticed why Clare had left. It was obvious to him since they had been friends for so long.

Clare had her first crush.

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**Five more reviews (11 total) and the next chapter goes up.**

**And I know that this is somewhat confusing; I know. But once Clare's secrets start coming out, it'll be easier to understand :)**

**PREVIEW:**

**Her smiled faded though as she was brought back to the memories of her and Clare, an emotion of pure disgust placed on her complexion. "It all happened last year." She started off, looking into his emerald eyes.**


	3. Crossfires

_Let's go down! This elevator only goes up to ten._

_He's not around; he's always looking at men._

Eli noticed that something was off with Clare—she was extremely giddy when she was with her friend. The dark skinned girl seemed to come off as "slutty" to Eli, but if it was a friend of Clare's, then she couldn't be so bad.

But once Eli came closer to the table, Clare's perfected smile was nowhere to be seen. Only irritation.

"Hi." She said, her voice monotone. Her friend looked up at her, an eyebrow raised and a smirk to match.

"Who's this, Clare-bear?" Her friend almost said in a mocking tone, and he saw Clare roll her eyes.

"This is my annoying English partner."

Eli smiled at the friend. "Eli is what I go by." He stated, and the girl took his hand.

"Alli. Alli Bhandari."

Eli smirked, looking back at the empty seat. "Care if I sit?" He asked, and he could've sworn that Alli almost swooned.

"Not at all." She said in a musky tone, making Clare groan.

"Alli." She whined in a quiet tone, looking at her best friend. Alli gave her a glance, shutting her up.

Eli sat down, wringing his hands from underneath the table. It was extremely awkward to be with two girls—one who flirted 100% of the time while the other drowned herself in silence. "Are you both sophomores?" He asked, and Alli nodded.

"We are." She amusingly stated, smiling at Clare. Clare was watching the two talk to each other, not caring to become part of the conversation.

"Hmm." He pressed. "What are your hobbies?"

"Well mine-"

"No." Eli cut Alli off. "I'm sorry, but I was directing my question to Clare." Alli looked slightly stunned, but crossed her arms as she waited for Clare to answer.

"Music." She stated, grooming her nails. Eli rolled his eyes.

"What about music?"

Clare wasn't going to say anything, so Alli nudged her arm. Clare looked agitated by now. "I like singing and playing the piano." She loudly stated, annoyed. "If that's all you want to know, then I'll be leaving."

Eli didn't understand her sudden outburst. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere important." She snapped, but her eyes turned sympathetic before she picked her bag up and left. She didn't mean to be mean—it was her family's fault.

Her family just had to be so screwed up.

"What's her problem?" He asked rhetorically, not thinking Alli would hear. Alli chuckled.

"What's _not_ her problem?" She asked, and Eli looked at her in shock.

"Aren't you her friend?"

Alli nodded. "Why?"

Eli shrugged. "It just seemed like the way you talked about her was like you guys are close enemies. What's up?"

Alli looked down at the table. "It's Clare." She stated.

"No, duh." Eli replied. "Really, though, unless it's none of my business."

"It's fine Eli." She grinned while she said his name. Her smiled faded though as she was brought back to the memories of her and Clare, an emotion of pure disgust placed on her complexion. "It all happened last year." She started off, looking into his emerald eyes.

"Clare's mom died last year, and her father moved on. Got married to a "skank" who has three kids. Clare never accepted them, even though they're really nice. Then one day during the summer, we were at a party. She had found another boy in our grade, and they were really pulling it off. The next day she was… different. She wouldn't talk to anyone." Alli looked off into the distance. "She told me that it was nothing, but I didn't think it was. But now I guess it's just family issues."

"Huh," Eli dully states, leaning back into his chair.

_To The End_

_Screw school,_Clare thought, walking out of the doors of the unguarded high school. She was so fed up with Alli ever since everything went downhill. Couldn't Alli get a hint at times? Clare thought not.

She opened the rusted, metal gate and made her way inside the area. The gate closed with a loud pitch scream, one that had become familiar.

Clare trudged her way up the hill and to the one grave that she wanted to see. "You," she stated ruefully, sitting down in front of the stone. "You made my life a living hell."

Of course, the stone wouldn't respond to her, but quite frankly she didn't care. She knew that he was listening, wherever he was. "Everyone is looking at me like _I'm_ the one to blame!" Clare threw her hands up in the air, her voice becoming weak. "_You_ are the reason that I can't be happy anymore!" She screeched throwing her hands back down to the ground.

"I hate you _so_ much, I can't even believe it."

The wind outside had picked up, but Clare was unfazed by it. "I wrote about _all_ of this," she muttered, looking down at the brown grass surrounding the stone. "Like my therapist told me to. But I... I lost it. It's gone. Someone has it in their hands, and if they read it, then I'm done. _Jenna_," she spat, thinking about before. "Probably will see it in no time, and _know_ that I have something to do with this."

She looked at the stone again, reading the words that were displayed neatly unto it.

"But I wasn't even a part _of_ this," she whispered. "I was just caught in the crossfire."

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**Five more reviews (17 total) and we get closer to seeing whose grave Clare is talking to.**

**PREVIEW:**

**Eli didn't understand why they didn't like her coming, especially since _he_ hadn't been invited either, but then he saw it.**


	4. Degrassi Pool Party!

_Down by the pool,_

_He doesn't have many friends._

Clare looked before her and read the words once again: _Degrassi Pool Party!_

She knew that she wasn't invited, but she had found the invitation on the floor. That meant that it was up for grabs. She hadn't gone swimming in so long—it seemed like years ago.

Clare grinned, shoving the rejected paper into her pocket. She was planning on getting a bathing suit after school.

In front of her sat Jenna Middleton and a new girl, chatting endlessly about a party that was coming up. "I got an invitation because I'm dating K.C., but I don't know where he's been. It's like he fell off the planet."

Clare's eyes darted in front of her and she listened to the two girls talk.

The girl giggled. "Don't worry Jen—he'll be coming back soon enough." Clare shook her head, answering her unasked question. "And plus, if he doesn't, then think of all the _hot_ guys there! They'll be drooling over your bathing suit."

Jenna rolled her eyes. "My heart only belongs to one person, and that is K.C. If he dies, then I'll die. Well, internally, you know?" The girl nodded her head before obnoxiously commenting on Jenna's necklace.

Clare leaned as far as possible into her chair, wishing that she could sit all the way in the back. Not only was it bad that Jenna loved K.C., but also take him away from her. Clare could still feel her hatred toward the couple, but now only one flame was distinguished.

And Clare didn't want to remember that.

Alli sat next to her, giving a small smile. Clare looked at her distantly.

"Are you going to the pool party?" Clare blurted out, and Alli's eyes widened.

"You got an invite?" She confusedly asked. Clare nodded, not bothering to tell her that she actually didn't.

"Yeah—are you going?"

Alli hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, I am. Why?"

Clare shrugged her shoulders. "Just wanted to know who was going."

"I was thinking of inviting Eli." Alli stated nonchalantly, taking out her books. Clare sent her a glare that she didn't acknowledge.

"You like Eli?" Clare asked, uninterested. But deep down she was dying to know, since she liked him, too.

Alli stupidly grinned like an alcoholic. "He's so _hot_." She emphasized. "Once he came up to us, all I could think of was 'oh my god. I _need_ to get him'. How do you know him, again?" Her tone became aggravated at last, which was what Clare was looking for.

Clare smiled. "I told you, he's my English partner. We just started talking to each other."

Alli's grin had completely disappeared by now. "So that means you guys don't like each other, right?"

Clare looked into Alli's eyes for a second. "I like him." She blurted, her eyes widening. Had she just admitted that? She looked down at her work in fear.

Alli sighed loudly, making Jenna look back at them. "Alli!" She exclaimed, which Alli returned.

"How is everything?" Alli asked loudly, making sure that Clare was able to hear. Alli knew that Clare couldn't stand Jenna. Jenna smiled.

"Everything is going good—K.C. and I are finally official! Can you believe it?"

Alli laughed. "I knew it was coming! You guys are so cute together."

Jenna laughed in reply before looking at Clare. "You okay?" She asked, seeing Clare's discomfort.

Clare looked up after a second. "Fine as I can be." She lied through her teeth, giving the most convincing smile she could muster. But she knew that it wasn't going to be good once secrets started to reveal themselves.

Jenna looked at Clare once again, still unconvinced. "If you need to talk, K.C. and I are always able to give advice."

Clare felt her nails dig into her hands underneath the table. The regret was eating her alive, but she couldn't show it. No one could know.

Clare looked at Alli before looking back at Jenna. "I don't need help." She coldly stated. "But thanks."

Jenna looked concerned as she returned her gaze to Alli. "Is she okay?" She mouthed, making sure that Clare wouldn't see.

Alli rolled her eyes. "She doesn't like you." She replied in the same way, widening her eyes in annoyance.

_To The End_

The pool party was all ready. People were already starting to fill in. Nearly everyone invited from Degrassi High School had come; from freshmen to seniors. The only people who were missing were the teachers, but that wasn't a concern. No adults meant more alcohol served.

Eli walked in with Alli, repeatedly peeling her arm from his. "Please, stop." He almost pleaded, but Alli insisted on trying over and over again.

Eventually Alli had a face of rejection. "What? Am I not pretty enough?" She loudly asked him.

Eli looked at her before rolling his eyes. "Stop fishing for compliments; I only came because you nicely invited me to come. I don't actually like you like that. I'm sorry if you thought I did."

Alli's eyes started to tear. "But that's what it means when I ask you to a party! It means I want to date you! And it means that you feel the same way too when you accept it!"

Eli chuckled before he looked back at Alli's distraught face. "That's not how it goes, honey." He sarcastically said before walking down to the pool.

The pool was extremely oversized; it was bigger than most of the houses in Toronto. But it didn't concern Eli; it was actually better. Eli would be able to swim in peace, not to be bumped into by obnoxious teenagers.

But there was something else that he was concerned with, and that was Clare Edwards. He still had that paper that Clare rejected, but he didn't bother reading it. It didn't feel right to.

Looking through the area, he could not find the auburn haired beauty. Although she had such an unemotional expression, she was still beautiful. People just didn't seem to see it.

Eli jumped into the pool, feeling the fresh water caress his face. It felt so _nice_ to be in, especially since the weather hadn't bothered cooling down yet.

Soon enough his body came up for air, and from the loud music that was playing it seemed mute. He noticed that some people were staring at something, which he followed. His gaze sent him straight to someone who seemed to not have been invited; Clare Edwards.

Eli didn't understand why they didn't like her coming, especially since _he_ hadn't been invited either, but then he saw it.

Clare lightly took off her shirt, revealing her bathing suit. But it also revealed dark red scars, framing her entire back and stomach. It was something that must've embarrassed most people to see, but he didn't see it that way.

It was almost like she had no choice; like she hadn't done it.

Like someone else had.

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	5. Do Something, Idiot!

_As they are_

_Face down and bloated snap a shot with the lens._

Clare didn't seem to notice all of the stares that she was getting. Quite frankly, if she knew, she wouldn't care. All that she was determined of doing was swimming, to remind her of her non-fucked up childhood.

Her feet slightly burned as she walked on the concrete, feeling the hot sun baking the dull cream flooring. For some reason, it felt good to Clare.

Looking down at the water, she could almost see her own reflection. She just needed to get farther into the pool, but not too close. Otherwise she'd fall in.

But of course, some jerk had to. It was the perfect chance to embarrass the uninvited. Clare belly flopped into the deep water, hearing soft laughter from above the water. She came up for air, only to have her head to go under once again.

Soon enough, Clare couldn't breathe. She opened her eyes to only see a deep blue, wondering if this was her moment to die.

Her moment to find peace in heaven.

Her mind was elsewhere as a haze fell upon her, and she couldn't think straight any more. All of her oxygen was gone, and she could no longer breathe. She could feel her body breath in, desperate for air, but water flowed through her lungs.

_What a nice way to die_, her mind sarcastically thought, before she fell unconscious.

_To The End_

Eli had seen the whole thing. He watched as the jocks of Clare and Eli's class went over to where she was standing, pushing her in.

"Assholes." Eli stated, waiting for Clare's head to pop up from the water. He swam over to where Clare was, which was farther a distance than it seemed.

But he stopped once again when he saw that they were _holding_ her head underwater. "Stop!" Eli shouted, his swimming becoming more desperate.

Eli was a faster swimmer than most people had thought. "You're killing her!" He cried, attempting to pry the hands away from Clare's head. The jocks laughed.

"That's what she gets for coming to a private party." He replied to Eli, high fiving several of his friends.

Eli groaned, bringing Clare's lifeless body up to the surface. "You need an invitation to get _in_ to the pool, dumbasses! Anyone who doesn't can't get in. She obviously had an invite!"

The jock rolled his eyes. "No one would invite _Clare Edwards_. Have you seen her?"

Eli gripped the edge of the pool, bringing Clare up before him. "Yeah, and she's beautiful. I don't know what you guys don't see in her."

The jock shook his head, a small laugh coming out of his lips. "It's more like what she _did_ that makes her hated. What, she didn't tell you? Or did no one think you were worthy of knowing?"

Eli's face had darkened drastically as he stomped over to the jock, punching him square in the face. Repeatedly hitting him, he said, "I guess your friends don't care about you—they all left the scene."

The jock's nose had bloodied, running down to his mouth. Eli let go of the boy, crouching next to Clare.

The jock wiped his nose, panting slightly. "That's because they take pictures here, emo boy. You're going to be in one of the Degrassi High papers."

Eli laughed loudly. "It doesn't matter to me what people think of me; I don't need to protect my name. I'm just making sure I'm not getting high off of steroids like you are, man. You're face is blown up."

There was loud laughter from all around, seeing as the jock's face _had_ blown up. Eli saw a dark skinned girl with a camera, nodding towards the boy.

"You're next article." He smirked, watching as the girl took several pictures. The jock now had a startled expression.

"You're going to pay, kid; no one gets away from me that easily."

Eli shook his head, not bothering to pay attention to him. He laughed, looking down, and then frowning. He had just forgotten that Clare needed medical attention!

"I need help over here!" Eli shouted loudly, making sure that Clare had a pulse. "I'm so damn sorry, Clare." He said to the paled body. "I wanted to make sure that he paid for what he did to you; I just hope you'll be okay."

Clare's body slightly rose before falling again. She was barely there, but he knew that she had heard him.

A lifeguard jogged towards the scene. "What the hell happened?" He asked Eli, but didn't allow him to answer. Before Eli was able to blink, he had his speaker out and got an ambulance on call.

The lifeguard looked angrily towards Eli. "Care to explain what happened?" He growled.

Eli rolled his eyes. "A group of boys pushed her into the pool and wouldn't let her come up for air. She almost drowned, and I got her out."

The lifeguard's expression softened, but he looked again at Eli's appearance, seeing that his bathing suit was black, as well as his hair. "Well," the boy said, checking Clare's pulse. "She was lucky to have to here." His face became distraught as he too saw the scars on her stomach, instinctively backing up from her. "What the hell…" He stared at the dark red lines, and Eli shook his head, becoming impatient.

"Do something, idiot!"

The lifeguard nodded instantly, asking for backup.

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**Five more reviews (29 total) and the next chapter goes up.**

**I'm also thinking of making a new story once I finish uploading this one; if I do, I'll surely tell you in an A/N. What _haven't_ you seen be done in an Eclare story?**

**I want to do something different than the other stories. If you have an idea, feel free to shout it :)**


	6. Hospital Sheets

_If you marry me,_

_Would you bury me?_

_Would you carry me to the end?_

Clare blinked, seeing the bright lights illuminate the hospital room that she was placed in. At first, she thought that she had died, but when she felt the pain burning her stomach, she knew that this was nowhere near heaven.

If anything, this was hell.

She hastily took off the blanket that covered her, only to see her whole stomach stitched. All of the scars that had healed on their own were now retrieving medical attention.

She had let go of her secret. Clare didn't want anyone to know, but she just got so caught up in the moment, that it seemed like it would let her escape reality. Cursing under her breath, she heard a sigh from across the room. Her sight sprung to the noise, not calming her down when she saw that it was her English partner. _What the hell is wrong with him?_ She repeatedly asked herself, but she didn't have a reason. She didn't even see him at the pool party.

His eyes were closed, but his chest fell up and down with every breath that he took. He was asleep.

A door opened, revealing Stacy. Clare groaned loudly.

"Why the _hell_ would you be here out of all people?" She whined, glaring at her. Stacy's face did not change, however.

Stacy came up to Clare, giving her a second glare before making contact between her hand and Clare's cheek. Clare took it, slightly amused by her step mom. Clare grinned.

"It's cool to know that my dad's slut has a backbone." Clare laughed, looking at her step mom.

"That's not why I'm here." Stacy growled, making Clare raise an eyebrow. "Randall hasn't been home recently; I think you've scared him off with your ridiculous acts! Like _this_ one! Oh, wait until he hears that you were trying to drown yourself!"

Clare's eyes widened. "I wasn't trying to kill myself-I was pushed in the pool by some bastards at school! I had no intention of drowning at the pool party."

Stacy glared at Clare once more before looking over Randall's daughter. "Why are you still here, then?" She asked. "If it was just a drowning attempt, then you shouldn't still be under the care of the hospital."

Clare swallowed loudly, fearing the worst on the inside. She shrugged, going along with it. "I don't know." She muttered, trying to sound annoyed. It had gotten easier to do.

Stacy looked over Clare once again before leaving the room. "I won't be home till tomorrow." She stated as the door closed behind her.

Once she was out of sight, Clare lifted up the sheets once again. She was like a sewn up doll. When she heard a heavy sigh next to her, she softly gasped and dropped the sheets.

Eli awoke shortly after, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It took him a second to remember where he was until he looked up at Clare. Concern filled his emerald eyes.

"Hey," He said softly, making sure that he wasn't scaring Clare. Clare swallowed loudly.

"Hi." She replied. Clare opened her mouth in several attempts of asking questions, but she couldn't find her voice.

Eli sighed. "You were thrown into the pool by a couple of jerks. They tried drowning you but I saved you from them." He sounded so nonchalant that it was strange.

Clare's eyebrows furrowed. "I knew that; I wasn't trying to ask you that." She looked down at her hands before looking back at him. "I was going to ask you if you… _know_... about me."

Eli looked genuinely confused. "Pardon?" He asked.

"People say things about me," Clare replied. "A _lot_ of things. I just wanted to know if you heard any of them yet."

Although Clare whispered it, it was loud and clear to Eli. He blinked several times. "I don't think I have." He retorted. "Should I be concerned about what they say?"

Clare broke the eye contact. "I just want you to know that—that some people say things about me, that aren't true. You seem to see me in a different light than others, and I don't want you to lose that just because of what you hear." Clare looked to the other side of her, her eyes welling up. "I haven't found someone before you who can actually hear me out until now." He voice cracked, revealing that she was crying. Eli sat dumbfounded in his chair.

"Clare," he caught her attention. "I don't make assumptions because of what people tell me. _Never_ feel like you have to hide things from me."

Clare sniffled, rubbing the tears from her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she replied. "I'm very fragile it seems."

Eli laughed. "You seem like one of the toughest kids in the school," he amused. "People seem to fear you."

That was Clare's breaking point. All thoughtfulness had hardened as she became mute once again. The tensing of her body made her try to recoil from the new stitches in her stomach.

Clare looked over at him. "You should fear me, too." She hoarsely said, readjusting herself on the bed. Eli looked at her in confusion.

"I'm not going to, Clare." He argued. "I'm going to be there for you when you need it."

Clare shook her head. "I've heard that so many times, yet no one has kept to their word. Everyone who has said that has left me." Her expression turned aggravated. "You should just leave now; it would hurt less."

Eli shook his head. "Not as long as you're in here, Clare. I'm not leaving."

Clare rolled her eyes. "How long have you been here?"

He shrugged simply. "Somewhere near a day; I came here when you were out of _surgery_." Clare could tell by his emphasis that he wanted to know what happened to her, but she wasn't going to spill. Not so easily.

Clare rolled her eyes. "Well _sorry_."

"I know it wasn't you." He stated, making her head shoot in his direction. She narrowed her eyes.

"How would you know?" She growled.

Eli looked off into space for a second, wincing slightly as he thought about it. "When I saw your… your _stomach_, I knew that wasn't self infliction. I've been around people who have been abused before. Your scars seem to fit perfectly with that."

"You could never know," Clare pointed out, but her voice was becoming weaker.

Eli crossed his arms. "But I do," he replied.

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	7. Say Goodbye

_(So say goodbye) to the vows you take_

_(And say goodbye) to the life you make_

As Clare's recovery progressed, so did her friendship with Eli. It was strange in a way for Clare to have someone that finally understood who she was, but he still didn't know everything. He only knew the basics of her life.

"Do you want me to drive you?" Eli asked during lunch; Clare was getting her stitches taken out today. Clare looked at him from across the table and smiled.

"That'd be nice," she commented. "But you can leave once you take me; my mom's going to pick me up."

Eli gave her a look over before nodding. It was hard to tell when she was or wasn't telling the truth, since she _had_ become a master of lying over the months.

When Morty was parked outside of the building, Eli watched Clare get out slowly. "Be safe, Clare." He yelled over the radio, leaning out the driver seat window. Clare looked over at him and nodded.

Clare's hands were balled into fists as she made her way into the office. She wished she could be anywhere but _here_. This was just a bad reminder for her about everything.

The receptionist looked up at her with a welcoming smile. "Your name?" She asked.

Clare looked at her warily. "Clare," she sluggishly told her, as if she were in a trance. The receptionist gave her a smile heartwarming smile before she thanked her.

Clare didn't want to sit down. The chairs looked disgusting, and she knew that many people had sat in them. She watched the TV while leaning against one of the walls, crossing her arms so that her stomach wouldn't be revealed if anyone could see through her clothing. It was a habit of hers nowadays.

"Clare Edwards?" Someone at the door asked, and Clare looked up at the woman. The woman nodded her into the hall. "Is this your first time here?" She asked, and Clare nodded. "Well, don't be too scared; it shouldn't hurt." She gave a smile before stopping at the threshold of Clare's room.

She hesitantly looked in the room, going in faster than she had wanted to. The woman seemed to be in a bit of a rush today. The only furniture in the room was the patient's seat, a chair and a countertop that had several items on it; not many that Clare knew of.

Taking a deep breath, she fell backwards into the chair. "Can my life get any harder?" She asked the ceiling, but she wasn't going to wait for an answer. She looked down at the purity ring placed on her left hand. She shouldn't have kept it, but he wanted her to. He said that it would cover everything that they had done together.

Or at least, what _he_ had done with _her_. She felt dirty every time she looked down at it. And she was going to change that; she deserved to still be pure—it wasn't her fault that he had done it.

But now it wasn't worth waiting for. She wanted to feel lust for once, and she had waited—

Clare jumped at the sound of the door opening, revealing a tall man with a white coat on. He had a clipboard in his right hand as his left was held out in front of Clare. "You're Clare Edwards, I'm guessing?"

She looked up at him in shock before sluggishly nodding. "Y—yeah. That's my name."

The doctor looked at her sympathetically. "I see that this is your last appointment; right? Getting those stitches out?"

Clare nodded. "Is it going to hurt?" She asked quietly, looking down at the floor.

"If anything, there will be a little pain," he said, putting on his rubber gloves. "But it's tolerable, and if you feel too much then we can medicate you."

Clare looked over at him before nodding. "Okay," she sighed as the chair came back further. When the doctor lightly pulled her shirt up, she shivered. She didn't enjoy even being _this_ revealed to men.

One of the nurses came in to help the doctor, and they said things that sounded like a different language to Clare. Her heart was pounding in her ears, making her woozy. Thank goodness she was already lying down.

She felt the first stitch come out with no pain, but Clare didn't want it that way. She winced dramatically, but enough to keep it natural looking. The nurse looked at her several times before saying, "I think she needs medication; honey, is this hurting you?"

Clare's eyes became teary, but for a different reason. She nodded. "Yeah-" she whispered, her hands forming into fists again. A needle was injected to her forearm, and for once in a long time she felt… bubbly.

An expression that she couldn't place her finger on. Overmedicating was so… _relaxing_. She didn't feel any pain anymore, even though she didn't _have_ any pain before, and she no longer thought about the stitches. Heck, she couldn't remember that she _had_ stitches, she was so high.

The doctor was done in what seemed like a second. Clare recomposed herself to not give herself away. "You're all done, Clare. How do you feel?"

Clare looked up at him with a generous smile. "I feel great; thank you!" And with that, she was tripping over her feet and to the exit.

_To The End_

The effects still hadn't worn off her, but she didn't care. As long as she was high, she might as well screw her life further. She walked, laughing like a hyena, to one of the joint hangouts, looking to see if she knew anyone there. No one seemed familiar, but she gave it a shot anyway.

She opened the rusted gate as she laughed under her breath. A few of the boys turned their heads to see who was walking in, and kept their gaze on Clare once they saw her. Most of them were juniors from Degrassi, but were too drunk to realize that it was Clare Edwards.

"Hey pretty lady." One of them slurred, purring into her ear. She laughed before pushing him away.

"Hey yourself!" She giggled. "I'm looking for some fun." She announced, although her mind was protesting. "Anyone in?" A few of the boys raised their hands, but Clare didn't want a goody-too-shoes. She was looking directly at the boy that she wanted to feel lust with for the first time.

Mark Fitzgerald. He wasn't very handsome, but he sure was _badass_. And that's what Clare liked; he was always the one that seemed to be making trouble in Degrassi when she was a freshman. She walked over to him in a slut-like way.

"Hey," she sexually said. Fitz smirked at her.

"What's Clare Edwards doing _here_?" He asked, although he wasn't looking for a logical answer.

"Just shut up and come with me," she replied, pulling him deeper into the forest.

Fitz tripped over a few things due to Clare's pace. "What about your beliefs and crap?" He asked, and Clare shook her head, a mischievous smile spreading on her lips.

"I don't believe in that shit anymore. Now do as I tell you."

Clare pulled him so close to her that they were an inch apart. She started pulling his shirt over his head. "Show me lust," She whispered in his ear, breathing down the top of his neck.

Fitzgerald grinned. "I'd be happy to."

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**I actually hate myself (figuratively) for putting this chapter together, but it was too good of an idea to let go :) **

**One of Clare's secrets was revealed in this chapter, but I believe they just get worse as the story goes on-maybe a warning to you all?**

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	8. Sparks, Perhaps?

_(And say goodbye) to the heart you break_

_And all the cyanide you drank._

Eli groaned, half awake, as his hand reached for his cell phone. Who in the world would be calling him at six in the morning?

"Hello?" He groggily said into the phone, stretching.

"Where in the world is my step daughter?" The other line yelled. Eli pulled his ear away from the receiver.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean. I know that you have been hanging out with Clare, and you're the reason that she didn't come home yesterday!" Eli's eyes widened dramatically.

"What?" He yelled back. "She said that you were coming for her!"

Stacy laughed. "Teenagers these days try to sound _so_ convincing. Listen, if you don't find my daughter, then I _will_ call the cops.

Eli took a step back. "Whoa, whoa, whoa; I haven't seen Clare, okay? It's not my fault that she didn't come home! Maybe it's yours!"

Stacy scoffed. "Why in the world would it be because of _me_?"

"I don't know," Eli hastily said. "Maybe because you're a tramp?"

Although Eli couldn't see it, he knew that he had gone too far. The other line disconnected from him.

He was all alone to find his English partner.

_To The End_

Clare breathed in with her eyes closed. Something seemed… _off_. It felt like she was outside. And it didn't seem like she was sleeping on her bed; the floor seemed too rough, too hard to be it.

She opened her eyes, looking at the woods in front of her. Was that what had actually happened? She had gotten drunk and decided to sleep in the forest?

Her thoughts changed when she felt the arm around her waist tighten and a deep breath coming from behind her. Clare froze in her own reaction. "Damn it," she muttered, lightly peeling off his arm. Fitz stirred once more before relaxing again.

Clare crouched into a squat, looking for her clothing while she covered her breasts. This was something that she hadn't… expected. But things seemed to be changing with her lately.

Finding her clothes, although torn, she wore them, casually walking out of the joint. She made her way across the street in a slight haze.

She was now Degrassi's own slut. Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing; she could get major amounts of money—money that she could use to buy her own apartment where she could hide.

But prostitution wasn't something that was _healthy_, and Clare had enough sense to know that. Her life was screwed.

The wheels of a car screeched, getting closer to Clare before the honking started. Clare jumped at first until she noticed that it was a hearse. Clare swallowed, covering her stomach with her chest again.

The window on the passenger's side rolled down. Clare walked over to where the door was, looking in. She hadn't expected Eli to drive a hearse, but it _was_ fitting for him.

"Hey," Clare said, kind of confused. "What're you doing here?"

Eli looked at her sternly for a moment. "Get in." He growled, and Clare stared at him.

"Excuse me?" She scoffed, not moving.

"I said," Eli repeated. "Get in. Now."

Clare shook her head. "I don't accept peer pressure, so no thanks. See ya at school."

She walked about five feet away until Eli grabbed her by the waist, picking her up bridal style. With his foot he opened the passenger seat door, making his way to the driver's seat.

Eli closed the door hastily, taking a deep breath in. "Where've you been?" He asked after a moment of silence.

Clare shrugged. "Around."

Eli rolled his eyes. "You said that you had a ride home; I got a call from your step mother this morning on how you never came home last night. So, I'll ask again." He dared to get closer to Clare, looking her straight in the eyes. "Where were you?"

Shifting uncomfortably, she put her arms around her waist protectively. "I went out to hook up with boys like the slut I am." She said nonchalantly. Eli's eyes widened in pain.

"What the hell—are you serious?" His tone was almost outraged. Almost.

Clare nodded. "I might as well screw up my life 'till the end of time," she muttered under her breath.

Eli shook his head. "Get out." He stated.

Clare looked over at him. "Why?"

Pained emeralds looked up at her. "Because I'm _trying_ to help you, but I need you to do your part, too. All I'm getting is a failure when I thought I was actually _doing_ something right for you! I like you, you damn idiot! For once, you know someone who actually _wants_ to help you for the better and—to hear that you can just give up that easily isn't something I can handle. You're on your own until you actually help yourself."

Clare looked at her hands, releasing them at her sides. "I can't change that easily," she whispered. "You don't understand how I _want_ help, but it's too much to handle."

Eli looked over at Clare before rubbing his face. "What am I missing? You have to tell me, or else I can't help you."

She took a shaky breath in before forcing the words out. "I was raped this summer." She stated, squinting her eyes shut. She was waiting for the pain. Waiting for the beating that she should've received _since_ she had told someone.

Nothing came. She opened one eye to see Eli looking off in the other direction.

Eli brought his hand up to his jaw, resting his head on it. "It's not going to be easy," he told her, looking back at Clare. Clare shook his head.

"I know this," she muttered warily. "I'm just… afraid of what's going to happen to me when my life gets back on track. He—he _told_ me that if I told anyone what happened, he would hurt me. Worse than I've already had."

Eli looked down at her waist. "Is that where you got the scars from?"

Clare closed her eyes, nodding. "I was bad," she replied. "I tried to escape from him after we he raped me, but he found me a mile away from the house. He acted like nothing had happened…" Clare trailed off, tears threatening her vision.

Eli opened his arms, allowing Clare to cry into his chest. "Its okay, Clare. He's not going to hurt you anymore."

Clare shook his head. "No. No, he will. I _know_ he will."

He opened his mouth to say something, but felt that it was best to shut up. Clare's sobbing soon calmed down, and she looked up from his shirt.

"Can I stay at your house tonight? I really don't want to see Stacy."

Eli shrugged. "I don't know if that's the best idea; I mean, you're vulnerable right now. How do I know you're not going to make a move on me?"

Clare smiled for the first time today before she hit his chest. "Ha, ha." She muttered, laying her head on his shoulder. "Why do you like me?" She asked suddenly.

Eli took a deep breath in. "Because I know that under this mask is someone who no one seems to see. And I _like _that person." Clare looked up at him.

"No one has told me that they actually like me," she muttered. "I thought I was someone who everyone hated."

Eli shook his head. "Never think that way, Clare; there is someone out there who will always be there for someone else."

Clare looked up at him again, her eyes brightened with an indescribable emotion. "Thank you," She whispered.

Eli smirked. "You're welcome."

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